Happy Birthday, Brother

Today, August 31st is my brother's birthday-- he would be 23 this year. I've been thinking a lot about this day for the past couple of weeks. I have wondered what it is going to be like to not be able to call and harass my brother all in the name of wishing him well. I wonder a lot about what it will be like to go through this day.


But, Richard's birthday also has me thinking a lot about his life. He was truly someone who chose life in every circumstance. He really lived life to the fullest. I have always admired that about him.


Today, it seems that everything I do reminds me of him. From conversations about politics, to the sweet tea sitting on my counter. But, in all honestly, that's not much different than any other day. But today, it wouldn't be weird for me to go purchase an Ice Cream Cake (like the one in the picture above- his last birthday) even if they are 500 calories a slice.


Neither of our birthdays will ever be the same again. But I laugh because I think that's exactly how he would want it.

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

-"Cry out to Jesus" by Third Day

Things I've Learned

As it turns out, death is certainly a process. Practically and philosophically speaking. In true blogger form- here are the things I've learned (all serious, some intended to be funny, so it's ok to laugh):

• Funerals are expensive. Probably unnecessarily so. But who's going to question the prices or shop around at a time like that?
• It only takes a phone call to withdraw someone from school when they die.
• HOWEVER- it takes a complete medical history, copy of the death certificate, funeral director's mother's maiden name, your right arm, left leg, and a pound of flesh to fly in for the funeral. Seriously- Read my friend Shannon's blog about my attempt at flying home. Then, NEVER fly Delta or Northwest, or any of their partner airlines again. I forbid it.
• I will always write, "no card" or "n/c" in the guest book at a funeral. The idea of writing all those thank you cards is completely overwhelming.
• Also, I pledge to not bring fried chicken when someone dies. Someone probably already has. Any variety of potato is always safe though.
• It is REALLY easy to figure out what your unhealthy stress coping mechanism is. My mom smokes. I eat. A lot. And sleep a lot. Which is a really bad combination. I'll be joining Bearcycle when I return for sure.
• The things people do things for you, like bring you food, send flowers, hugs, tears, and prayers mean a lot more than they think they do.
• Bubbly people might consider a class in appropriateness. Ask me about my Dad's call to the benefit's people at Toyota.

I might have more to add to this list later. I am grateful for all the prayers, calls, texts, flowers, cards, etc from those in our lives over the last 6 days (hard to believe it hasn't even been a week). I am also glad to be in a family where we can cry and laugh together. Richard was a much bigger fan of laughter and joy than tears, so it seems fitting to remember to laugh. Here is a link to some pictures I put up on Facebook. He was clearly more photogenic than I was or am. Thank you all for praying for my family- it really does make a difference.

If I'd Only Known. . .

How deeply and quickly I would learn the pain of being completely shocked and unprepared for something, I think I might have tried to avoid learning the lesson. So maybe I could avoid the application?

My mom called me late on Thursday to tell me that my little brother, Richard, passed away this week. We are not certain what happened, but believe he had a seizure. It happened earlier in the week, but he was found Thursday.

Please keep my family in your prayers. It is like walking in a fog or a bad dream. However, it is reality. And one that I am certainly unprepared for. I keep reminding myself of the truth that I know. And rest a bit in the knowledge that he knew those truths too.

May God be glorified in Richard's death the same way he was in his life. If we could see of glimpse of that to help with understanding, that sure would be nice too. A little Lazarus action would be appreciated too.

Sorry this picture is huge (I can't figure out how to make it smaller.)